Teenagers are in the most crucial time of their lives.
These people are experiencing hormonal changes for the first time. Some are beginning to bear the burdens of carrying responsibilities at an early age. But one common thing that teenagers often experience is the feeling of ‘control and ownership’
They want to be in control of their lives and actions. This is why it’s very common for them to say, “I am not a child anymore”
But parents find it aggravating and frustrating, especially when they genuinely want to pass a message. They feel that the child is acting out of sheer stubbornness. But are there reasons why a teenager wouldn’t want to listen to his/her parents?
This doesn’t just apply to parents but older figures in general, except they are genuinely gaining value from that person
Reasons why Teenagers Hardly listen to Parents
Here are 5 Top reasons why teenagers hardly listen to their parents, and in some cases, end up doing the opposite of what they were told:
1. Parents lecture their children all the time
It’s understandable when parents want to impart wisdom, but overly doing it will cause more harm than good and strain the relationship you have with your child.
Nigerian Parents are often guilty of this. They are so caught in the ‘respect’ web that they end up lecturing the child without listening and get annoyed when the child tries to explain
They end it with, “So you’re talking when I am talking?”
Most times, what they’re saying isn’t what the teenager is passing through.
2. They are not good role models
What most parents have grasped yet is that children learn by watching. The same goes with teenagers.
This is why older people encourage new parents to get their acts together for the sake of their kids. This doesn’t just in the financial aspect but also in their character. You can’t behave outrageously in front of your kids and expect them to listen to you when you’re trying to teach them how to behave.
3. Teenagers don’t listen to parents that don’t listen to them
Nigerian parents can talk more than they listen.
Times have changed, and although we understand that you have more life experiences, there are just some things you didn’t deal with in your time that we have to deal with.
You never had self-esteem issues because there was no social media platform to compare yourselves with, so don’t blame your kids for wanting everything because they SEE everything.
Most kids deal with issues relating with relationships and sex, fighting insecurities, battle with depression, face stigma as a result of one thing or the other… and some parents just don’t get it. They either start misinterpreting the issue or lecturing you on something totally unrelated.
They will just be opening their mouth Waaaaaaaaa!
And when it comes to exaggeration, nobody can take the title from Nigerian Parents!
A lot of them are toxic and they just don’t know it.
4. They don’t apologise when they are wrong
Apologizing for a wrongdoing especially as an adult is a true sign of taking responsibility.
One of the first signs of growth and maturity as a teenager is recognising when your parents flop. When you were a child, your parents were like demi-gods. They said and did everything the right way.
But now that you’ve grown, you realize that they’re simply human beings that bear the responsibility of training another human being.
By the time teenagers realize these flops and parents decide to ignore it, it becomes an unresolved issue.
When parents learn to apologize for their wrongdoings often in an empathetic way, children understand that its okay to err, and as such, become more comfortable talking about their issues with their parents.
But will Nigerian Parents ever apologize?
5. They don’t acknowledge little good things
The spirit of unhealthy comparison dwells in parents generally, not just Nigerian Parents.
They love holding up their kids as trophies for good parenting, not minding whether their kids are hurt in the process. This is why they push kids to do what they don’t want to do.
When a child does something good, the first thing is to appreciate what the child does instead of wishing he/she had done more. Parents should stop this, “Why can’t you be like XYZ?” or “Is it not your mates that are?”
Many of them are older than Mark Zuckerberg, yet we don’t compare them with him. Constant comparisons without giving a listening ear only results in hatred and low self-esteem.
Recognize that your children can’t be perfect in all areas. Understand that there are some people who would kill to have the children you’re always shouting at and insulting. Be grateful that you’re alive to see them grow.
If you’re angry that your kids don’t listen to you, maybe you aren’t listening to them too.
What other reasons do you think prevents teenagers from listening to their parents? Do well to comment below. Don’t forget to share to friends and family.