Parents are a blessing. Many of us wouldn’t have become what we are today without the gift of parenting. It doesn’t matter whether your parents were poor or rich. They gave you a leverage to thrive irrespective of the circumstances.
However, we have been taught to uphold our parents in high esteem and appreciate the things they do to the point where we don’t realize that some of their actions are becoming toxic.
This is not to withdraw the fact that they do things out of love. A good parent wouldn’t intentionally put their child at risk or do things to damage them. They only carry out these acts because of their own experiences, their character, and the things they feel will be good for their children.
Another reason for their toxic behaviour is the need for praise and approval. Most parents want to be given awards (literally) or praises for raising obedient, well-behaved, and socially accepted children that they end up jeopardising their children’s needs and desires. They end up tearing down our self-esteem in the process.
This article isn’t meant to tear down your parents’ image. It only helps you identify these traits and know whether you have toxic parents, so that you can make better decisions for your life, and ultimately, become a better parent.
How to know Toxic Parents
Here are 5 Ways to know Toxic Parents
1. Toxic parents are manipulative:
This is their number one strategy. Toxic parents enjoy manipulating their kids to their whims and desires, irrespective of what it would cost the child.
For instance, if a child loves and wants to build a career playing football, but his ‘toxic parent’ doesn’t see the future in it and wants the child to study a ‘noble’ profession like medicine or engineering, he/she would do everything in their power to stop that dream, including withdrawing support and sponsorship.
It’s just crazy!
2. They are the champions of guilt tripping
This is one of the ways they manipulate their kids. Toxic fathers employ the ‘After all the money I spent on you, this is how you want to pay me’ mantra to force their kids to do what they want or distort their plan.
Mothers play the ‘I carried you in my womb for nine months’ card to guilt trip you to do something you don’t want to do. They even go as far as crying.
3. Toxic parents never admit they are wrong.
The number one rule of toxicity is- Never admit you’re wrong.
Toxic parents never admit that they did something wrong, especially to their children, even when they realize it. Instead, they shove it off and quickly move on without apologizing for the damage they’ve caused.
4. They love thought and action imposition
You automatically become their enemy once you don’t have the same thought belief with them. Toxic parents have fixed mindsets and beliefs that they hold dearly. Once their children don’t agree with them, they see it as rebellion and a threat to their authority.
They might even resort to physical violence
5. Toxic parents are very nice
Haven’t you observed?
Toxic people are very nice, warm and friendly, and that’s why it’s very easy for them to manipulate people because no one suspects them. It takes a while for people that have really spent time with them to observe these toxic traits.
Did you grow up under toxic parents or guardians? Do well to share your thoughts below. Don’t forget to share to friends and family.