Truthfully I’ll say no. The friendzone is just a provocative and “toxic” term used by a lot of people (especially men) to signify they are nice guys who deserve a lot better. This is one of the reasons why I personally believe that the friendzone does not exist. You see a lot of people thinking to themselves “how can I get out of the friendzone” and here is all you need to know.
How can you get out of the friendzone? You simple show your interest in a person and if they reject you, pick up your pieces and move on. Yes it’s no doubt that it’s easier said that done but it’s a lot better than hanging around waiting for a love you might never have.
Hold on, here’s another crazy thing about people in friend zones. They believe they’ve done enough to be deserving of some. Some intimacy or even a relationship. It could be any of these. But have you ever put the other persons feelings into consideration or does your triumph all? Sure seems that way.
Why can’t I get some? I’m A Nice Guy
I’ve come across people who swear they aren’t getting any because they are nice guys. “Girls love men who would make them cry” “I listen to her talk all day about different men, surely she should give me a chance” here’s a little secret about nice guys. They aren’t nice at all. Well I’m not going to generalize and say there aren’t nice guys out there. But you should have an idea on what I’m talking about. The guys who base their personalities off being “nice”. They never stand up for what they want or go after what they need because it would ruin their playbook.
There’s a reason why a myriad of nice guys finish last. Because they don’t have self respect. Another reason why I feel the friendzone is nothing but a fallacy. It’s just being a friend. Let me tell you a quick story.
I once knew of this guy who was friends with this girl he was in love with. She didn’t feel the same way. No in fact she was in love with someone else. He was a good guy. Maybe not as “nice” as losing his self respect or putting his feelings aside because he has a target in mind. They were happy (the girl and the boyfriend). Now let’s take it back to the guy who has nominated himself the king of the friendzone. You might wonder why. It’ll interest you to know that the girl in question has told him a countless time that it won’t work out but he feels he deserves some because he’s always there for her.
This is subconsciously or even intentionally hoping she breaks up with her boyfriend to be with you. Why? Because you’re a nice guy. Surely you deserve some. Or she doesn’t even have to break up with him. She can just give you some because well… you’re a nice guy. But then taking a moment to reflect, are you really a nice guy? I mean you do everything you do hoping to get out of a well you put yourself in. It’s ok to just be friends with someone. Platonic friendships don’t take you to Tartarus, I promise.
Can A Guy And A Girl Be Just Friends?
Can a guy and a girl be just friends? Absolutely. Does that mean they won’t have feelings for each other? Absolutely not. A straight male and a straight female can and would be friends. However along the line one person or even both might have the slightest feeling for the other party. If you see it’s not reciprocated, you owe it to yourself, not someone else, yourself to move on.
If you don’t, you’re just another person waiting for a ship at an airport. Yes you may have all the patience in the world hoping for a miracle but that’s never going to happen. You need to be more intentional. Pick yourself up and go for better. Love hurts no doubt. It rips your heart out and eats you away little by little. But then give yourself a chance to heal.
However if you’re just a guy being nice to a lady because you just want some. Not only is it crazy, I hope you never get any.
Do Women Get Into The Friendzone?
On rare cases, a once in a blue moon type of case, women complain about being in the friendzone. Going by the logic of friendzones (being there for someone makes you eligible for some) I think all women are in the friendzone. Only thing is that they don’t call it that. They call it friendship. However once in a while you hear a woman complain about being in the friendzone (doesn’t sound right but things happen right?). In my opinion, women’s friendzones are just friendships.
Something else you might want to know. Women don’t need a long time to know that they have feelings for you.
Unrequited love hurts. A lot. No matter the gender. But using friendship as a tool? I hope you think it through. The more you invest your time, the more you seem desperate. Ask yourself this next time you start being overly nice to get someone to look your away. Once you get their attention, what’s next?