We all have one of them. Sulkers are everywhere we look. Irrespective of what they say or do or the method they employ, we all know a sulker when we see one.
Sulking can be seen as a form of silent treatment. People who sulk a lot tend to hold back their affection or end all forms of normal interactions as a form of punishment. They tell you they are angry with you by not speaking to you or being passive-aggressive.
The unique thing about sulking is that the sulker never agrees they have a grudge or they are angry. That defeats the entire purpose.
There also seems to be a hidden rule that nobody talks about it! Everyone knows what the sulker is doing. Yet, not a word is said.
Dealing with sulkers was extremely annoying when I was younger. However, I seem to have discovered the trick. Do you know the best part? I’m here to share it with you guys!
First, let’s consider some of the reasons why people actually sulk.
Why Do People Become Sulkers?
It happens because of insecurity and practice. Let’s be honest. We have all sulked in the past. However, some people make it a practice. It can be done for two reasons.
People who are insecure or have been bullied in the past may choose to sulk. It’s their way of asserting themselves when they cannot express themselves.
An inferiority complex is also at the center of people who sulk. Be careful when dealing with an insecure sulker. Push too hard and you are likely to see them blow up. One thing is sure- it will not be pretty.
Some people have practiced sulking in the past and have seen it work. If it worked before, they will expect it to work in the future.
If you have given in to people who sulk in the past, chances are that they will use it against you in the future.
The only way to stop a sulker is by simply winning the game. How to win the game is another issue on its own.
So how do you deal with a sulker? You learn not to play by their rules.
How Do I Deal With A Sulker?
Never indulge them
In the minds of a sulker, you are damned and deserve to be punished for your actions. So they will sit it out for some time. The worst thing you can do is indulge them. Don’t make them look like they are in the right.
Once you do this, they will see it as a sign and drag their feet even more. So just be yourself. Try to go about your daily routine like they aren’t even doing anything wrong.
Make them realize that you aren’t ready to play their childish game.
This is my favorite method. I love ignoring them. As far as I’m concerned, this is the easiest and fastest way to get them to respect you. It is clear that sulking is a form of emotional manipulation. Giving in will just lead to more manipulations in the future.
You have to stand your ground. When they see that you are not budging, they will slowly but gradually return to normal.
Destroy The White Elephant In The Room
Remember I mentioned the unwritten rule. No one ever talks about the sulking. Well, you can take a sulker by surprise by calling it out.
Just tell them in a very polite way that you know that they are sulking. Make it clear that you are always there when they need to talk about what’s bothering them. Don’t say it in a threatening way. Just make it clear.
Once you have done this, go back to your normal activities as if nothing ever happened.
Sulking is a bad and annoying form of communication. The faster you stop a sulker from playing their game, the better for your emotional health.