Having to cope with the death of a loved one can be overwhelming and it’s nothing short of that. It could be a close friend or family, no matter which, it hurts. Losing a loved one can lead to a series of intense emotion. There’s the denial stage, the self-sabotage, the “what if’s”. We wish things would have been done differently. Maybe they’d still be alive if it was. However, it’s all in our heads and all we can do is move on.
But is moving on that simple?
No. Sometimes it’s not even the right time to. In order to fully move on, you have to grieve until you can’t anymore. Cry and face your emotions, etc. here are a few ways to deal with the death of a loved one.
Talk about it
Things get better the more we talk about it. Find someone you can talk to. A friend, spouse, etc. someone who understands your pain and is willing to listen. Avoiding people and keeping to yourself never helps. It always keeps the wounds fresh when you are exposed to the world. Or when you find yourself having to talk about it for a reason.
Gather and provide support for those who could be hurting from the death of the loved one.
When you talk to people who could be affected by the death of the loved one, you are helping not just you but them as well. Remember how hard it is for everyone to accept. You both/all can reminisce about the good times you shared with the deceased. It goes a long way in helping you and them cope.
Let Your Emotions Flow and Accept Them
When someone we love dies, we experience a flood of emotions. Sometimes it’s hard sticking to one but the most common are denial and bargaining. You can’t seem to believe it happened. You get sad, angry, mad, detached, tired, etc. these emotions are normal. However if you can’t control them anymore, you might want to seek help. Talk to someone about it. Maybe a therapist or someone you can take advice from.
Take care of yourself and those around you during the death of a loved one
Grieving can prevent you from eating, drinking water, talking, sleeping, etc. therefore letting you sink into an abyss of depression. It’s ok to mourn because the dead deserve that at least. But remember to pick yourself up no matter how hard it is. Also, check on your loved ones who are being affected and encourage them to do so as well.
Celebrate the deceased
Instead of thinking about the deceased in death, think about them in life. What kind of person they were. How they made you feel. All the good they have put out into the world. Understand that no one who loves you would want to see you suffer for something they couldn’t control either. So even in death, give them that. It’s ok to cry about the bad times but don’t completely forget about the good.
No matter what is written about life and death, we make the choices of moving on. It’s hard to deal with the death of a loved one. It’s very difficult but not impossible. Remember never do rush it. Let the grieving process take it’s course but know when its time to move on.
Seek refuge in anyone that can comfort you. Talk about the pain. Cry and let all the sadness out. Remember that they loved you and always will no matter where they are now.
This article is dedicated to all of my family members dealing with the death of my late uncle Chief Aleruchi Patrick Amadi. I care about every one of you and pray we have the strength to move on.