How to Love someone: The Nollywood Version

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If you want to know how to love someone, watch nollywood movies

‘How to love someone’ is a topic that the Nollywood industry has indirectly given us lots of lectures on.

While there have been so much improvements in the industry over the last couple of years, the low-quality movies still revolve around the same love and life concepts.

You can predict a typical Nigerian movie from the title, the soundtrack, and the actors in the movie. We all had our favorite characters that stood out for us back then.

In a typical Nigerian movie, the love story almost always rotates around two concepts:

1. The girl is poor

She lost her father and is suffering in the village with her poor mother and can’t afford to go to school. One rich man returns from the city in search of a wife, and despite the beautiful maidens in the village, he set his eyes on this girl and boom, story don change!

The girl now has a good life and returns to the city with her husband…

Or…

2. The man is poor

The man will be terribly poor, so poor that he can’t afford to have a change of clothes. Yet, there is this girl that loves him for ‘who he is’. She sticks to him, despite her parents’ persuasion to marry a rich man from the city.

After years of hustling and praying on the mountain, God finally answers his prayers. He meets an unexpected stranger and performs an act of honesty for him, or he meets his primary school classmate that he is making it big in the city.

He meets the person and his life changes overnight. He is now rich. His parents now respect him. His friends now call him Oga. His girlfriend’s parents now call him ‘Our son’ and offers him water. He marries the lady and then moves to the city to live happily ever after.

Sounds familiar, right?

Here are some ways we can show love to our partners, according to the Nollywood industry:

1. Dance and run around under tree:

They will dance under tree while soft music is playing in the background. When the guy catches her, he will raise her up and twirl her around. Then, breeze will be blowing her hair left and right.

They will now be smiling

2. Sing to each through auto-tune:

This is super annoying because their lips don’t even sync to the music. Plus, the voice quality of the singer doesn’t match the actor’s voice.

Fake! All fake!

3. They show how to love someone by going to one restaurant and feeding each other

This has made some girls feel that their boyfriends are not romantic because they want public display of affection. It doesn’t work that way. Even if you’re beauty and your boyfriend is the beast, you can’t go to a public restaurant and start feeding each other…

You would rarely see anybody doing it these days

4.  Go to beach to ride horse

You see this one eh?

It’s very rare, if at all it really happens. Many married people haven’t seen a live horse, not to talk of entering one. Are they not married?

5. Sit on swing and start swinging together

This usually accompanies the autotune. The guy will sit on the swing, then the girl will sit on his laps. They will start swinging and professing their love to each other.

Fake! All fake!

After watching all these things, you’ll now be feeling sorry that you’re single

Do you remember other ways Nollywood actors profess love? Share them in the comment section below…

2 COMMENTS

  1. 😂😂😂😂😂
    This is so on point. The one i hate most is a rich man disguising himself to see if a girl really likes him. Ishi gbawa ya dia

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