Catherine Umesi
Hi, I'm Catherine. I'm a blogger, content creator, and co-founder of 9javillage.com. My mission is to help readers discover and appreciate themselves, and share the thoughts that wander in my crazy head. I'm an avid reader, and my love for ice-cream knows no bounds.

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It is possible to love yourself. Loving yourself is a conscious act that involves you discovering yourself and being aware of who you are and what you possess. This may look like a daunting task but the good news is, it is a journey worth embarking on. You’re working on yourself and knowing all the reasons why you should love yourself, despite your flaws. 

Now, you may be wondering, “why is self-love difficult?” The truth is, self-love is something most people struggle with. We’re all fond of nitpicking every aspect of ourselves because we’ve been told that we don’t deserve what life has to offer. 

Being human can be tasking and most of us have had to learn how to love and nurture ourselves from scratch. The best thing you can do for yourself is take it one step at a time and allow yourself the time it’ll take to get there. It may take a lifetime but heck, it’s your life! 

Before we delve into the top ten ways to love yourself, here are top ten golden rules to remember in your self-discovery journey.  

How to Love Yourself: Top 10 Golden Rules to Remember

1.   REALIZE YOU’RE IN COMPETITION WITH NO ONE BUT YOURSELF:           

Stop comparing and contrasting yourself with other people. focus on yourself and the person you want to be. You should solely work on your advancement, leaving where you are currently and becoming a better version of yourself. It takes time, but it’s worth the investment. 

2. INTROSPECTION:                                                                      This simply means being aware of how you think and feel, and how it affects your actions. You must be willing to study yourself and understand patterns in your thought process, so that they don’t affect you so much.

3.  ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID:  

                                                                 

Your feelings are valid. It’s okay to feel different shades of emotions. However, your personality shouldn’t change because of your feelings.

4. YOUR WORTH DOESN’T CHANGE BECAUSE OF YOUR LOOK:                                                                 

You are not your body. it doesn’t matter whether you’re short, tall, fat, skinny, light or dark. You shouldn’t depreciate your worth. Your worth is solely reliant on the value you bring to the table.

5.  IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR EVERYONE TO LIKE YOU:                                                        

Individuals tend to become people-pleasing when they’re insecure in themselves. But the sooner you realize that not everyone can like you, the better for you. Even if you are the holiest man or woman alive, people would still find something to pick on. 

6.  REMAIN TRUE TO YOURSELF:                                                                           

Never compromise yourself to fit in. It might lead to imposter syndrome, which is what happens when you internalize your inability to do things when compared with how others perceive you. No matter what situation you find yourself in, stay true to your authentic self and not some made-up version.

7.  YOU’RE ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES:                                                                            

Always be kind to yourself. You’re human and are bound to make mistakes, so don’t dwell on them. Allow yourself to move past them.

8.   FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR THE REGRETS:                                                                    

We all make mistakes now and then that seems like it’s the end of the world. Well it’s not. Not yet. You should acknowledge your fault, forgive yourself and learn from the experience.

9.    LEARN TO SAY NO WHEN YOU HAVE TO:                                                              

Don’t stretch yourself thin to accommodate others. Learn to put yourself first. No matter how bad you might want to help someone, maybe in a bid to get them to like you, remember that you come first. If it’s not convenient for you or if it makes you feel uncomfortable, turn that person down.

10.   KNOW AND ACCEPT YOURSELF FOR WHO ARE:                                                

There is only one you amid the 7 billion people that live on Planet Earth. Accept that you are special and unique despite your flaws, and watch yourself blossom. 

Practical Steps on How to Love Yourself

On this journey of self-love, it is imperative to practice self-care. 

Self-care is when a person carries out activities meant to cater to their mental, emotional and physical health. It plays a major role in mood-boosting and deterring depression and anxiety. It can also do wonders for our self-esteem.  

When you actively take care of yourself, it can create a potent brew of self-love because of the devotion and commitment you’d have to enlist in those good habits.

Here are some things you can do in your day to day that act as self-care tools:

1.  Start your day off with a compliment: 

It could be on how well you did something, how good you look or just the fact that you’re out of bed. It could be on anything as long as it makes you smile.

2.  Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings:

Don’t allow yourself to drift off course. Your actions are often an expression of your thoughts and feelings, so you shouldn’t allow negative thoughts to bear bad fruits (actions)

3.  Find something to be grateful for: 

It’s easy to take a lot of things for granted, especially in this social media age where everyone’s lives seem perfect on Instagram except yours. 

When you’re grateful for little things like waking up, being able to stretch and move around, and having family members beside you, then your life will have a different meaning. 

4.  Exercise: 

It has been proven that when we exercise, our brain releases chemicals called endorphins that trigger feelings of positivity and also helps to reduce your perception of pain.

5.  Be patient with yourself

Self-love needs to be practiced daily. So, don’t get frustrated if you don’t get it right away. It can even take a lifetime to master.

6.  Be conscious of the food you consume: 

I’m not telling you to go on a diet but as the saying goes “You are what you eat” so try to be mindful of what you eat so that you can have optimum health 

7. Stay in touch with family and friends

Family isn’t just people related by blood. Stay in touch with anyone that helps you go through tough times. Don’t push people away even though you might be tempted to. You’re allowed to need help.

8.  Eliminate all toxic relationships: 

Anyone who makes you doubt yourself or makes you feel bad doesn’t deserve to be in your life. You deserve to be treated as royalty, so you should find people that treat you as such. 

9.  Love the things that make you stand out:  

Always remember that you’re unique and special. What is that one thing that people often compliment you on? It doesn’t have to be big. Love and appreciate that special feature. 

10.  Act from a place of love and respect when interacting with others: 

It’s such an uplifting thing when we treat others the way we wish to be treated. Don’t expect everyone to do the same. That’s their issue, not yours.

11.  Be content with what you have: 

Getting that item won’t guarantee your happiness. It might give you feelings of elation for a few minutes but that won’t last. So, be okay with what you have.

12.  Don’t worry over things: 

Worrying does nothing for you. It can’t solve your problems. It only deters you from creating a solution and gives you anxiety disorder. If it’s something you have no control over, calm down, allow things to play out, then move on.  

13.  Sleep well and at regular times: 

We sometimes underestimate how much a good night rest can do for you. Stop using your phone or any other gadgets around bedtime, and try to go to bed at the same time daily. It helps to regulate your circadian rhythm.

14.  Take naps: 

When you feel anxious or stressed, you should take a power nap. It helps to relax your nerves and set your mind straight. You can set a timer if you’re worried about oversleeping.

15.   Calm yourself down in anxious situations: 

People have different ways of calming themselves down when anxious. Identify what calms you and stick to it, no matter how anxious or tensed you are. It could be little practices like drinking a cup of tea or taking a nap.

16.   Check-in emotionally: 

Regularly explore where you’re at emotionally. Identify how you feel and acknowledge those feelings.

17.   Take time off from social media: 

Sometimes we can get carried away in the false reality that is social media. None of it is real. It is specially curated in a way to affect how it is perceived. So turn off your social media and focus on yourself.

18.   Create a routine for the day: 

Putting a structure in place takes away the stress that comes from having to plan and create clear routines. Make sure that it’s flexible enough to allow for change if there’s a need for it.

19.   Set small manageable goals: 

Set for yourself one or two major goals to accomplish throughout the day that’ll give you a sense of fulfilment.

20.   Take yourself out on dates and splurge on yourself: 

As mentioned earlier, you’re royalty and you deserve to be treated as such. Select a day every month where you can splurge on yourself with fine dining or shopping. You deserve it!

21.   Focus on what you need rather than what you want

This is so important. We often get depressed by what we see on social media because we believe that their lives are better. The truth is, our lives are the same. You have the basic things you need- family, food, shelter, and clothing. 

Focus on affording the basic needs and be grateful when you do. 

22.  Gratitude: 

Develop an attitude of gratitude. Being thankful for the good things happening in our lives is a great way to lift your spirit and give yourself the much-needed mental boost

23. Change the way you think: 

By having positive thoughts, you attract positive outcomes. The same applies to negative thoughts. If you find yourself thinking negatively, just stop and intentionally focus on the good.

24.  Avoid speaking of your problems or worries: 

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ignore them. You’re allowed to vent once in a while but the less energy you devote to worrying, the better.

25.  Surround yourself with positive people: 

Hanging around positive people can do wonders for your mood and self-esteem. They’d always help you to see the silver lining.

26.  Perform random acts of kindness: 

The world is a bitter place. Carry out random acts of kindness today. You’d be amazed at how doing nice things for other people can elevate your mood. it doesn’t have to be big, and you certainly don’t need millions to do them. 

Something as small as smiling and saying kind words to a lesser privileged person could work a lot of wonders. 

27.  Take deep breaths from time to time

Are you tense or anxious? Do you get scared easily? Then, try taking deep breaths regularly and remind yourself that you’re special. 

28.  Take a mental break: 

Our minds are always on the move thinking about all the possibilities that the future holds. Take a time out and focus on yourself and the present.

29.  Journaling: 

This is putting on paper all the overwhelming emotions that you’re dealing with. It is a great way to express yourself and manage them. Keeping a journal can help you pinpoint the cause of your negative thinking and develop a plan to work on it.

30.  Disconnect from reality: 

Sometimes our present reality can be quite overwhelming and all-consuming. Find something you can do to help you disconnect from reality, like watching a new tv show, listening to music or reading a book you enjoy.

Final Words

So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen.  

The tips in this elaborate guide will help you to love yourself better. Following all these rules and tips might be a lot to take in, but it’s not impossible. With your newfound devotion and commitment,  be kind to yourself, be patient with your growth, forgive yourself of your mistakes, and be aware of how things make you feel.

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How to Love Yourself: The Ultimate Guide

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