How can I stop being envious when every one around me is thriving and I am not?
I get it. Your best friend has an amazing boyfriend/girlfriend and you’re single. You and your close friend vied for a job and your friend ended up getting it. Everyone else’s lives are going well, while yours feels stuck and stagnant.
Well, I come bearing good news- Envy is a natural feeling. But how it drives or motivates you determines the outcome.
When you grow up in a country like Nigeria where everyone is doing everything to survive, we imbibe this feeling that everything should go the way we plan or want it. When it doesn’t, it defeats our aim and reduces the confidence we have in ourselves.
Now, we can either take that envy that we feel to motivate our actions and propel us forward, or we keep wallowing in pity and keep building up walls of hatred that could escalate to something dangerous.
Which would you want?
Here are practical ways you can stop being envious of other people’s lives.
Stop being envious with these ways:
1. Find out why you’re envious
Envy stems from a void in our lives that we’re struggling to feel but see other people (most especially, people closest to us) feeling them with so much ease. The first step to stop being envious is to figure out why you are in the first place, and find out the void that feeds that envy.
Is it your inability to enter a new relationship or find a new job? What if it’s about your body or beauty? Are you worried about people’s perception of you?
When you find these things, you can work out ways to solve them.
2. Think of the good things in your life
There is an old saying that goes, “when a man sees a mansion, he begins to feel bad that he owns a small hut, forgetting that some people can’t afford a small hut”
You need to think of the good things that have happened in your life and the amazing people you’ve come across. You will stop being envious when you realize that you have more than most people could ever dream of.
Most importantly, be friends with people who are grateful and appreciative too.
3. Nobody has it all
Nobody has it all. Everybody has their fair share of pain, suffering, trauma, and addictions that they don’t show. All you see are their successes that are used as social proof on Instagram.
The truth is, there will always be someone that’s better than us in all areas. We always compare the worst part of ourselves to the best part of others without seeing their worst sides.
You’re special and loved. Never forget that.
4. Stop being envious by leaving the wrong circle of friends
Avoid people that make you feel less of a person. There are people in our lives that value the wrong things- getting a new car, buying the latest weaves, getting the latest fashion item, spending holidays in the most expensive destinations, etc.
When you move around with these people, you will constantly feel like you’re not living up to standard. You become envious, and then hatred enters the picture.
Don’t do that to yourself.
5. Understand marketers’ techniques
Marketers aim to drive sales, and most digital marketers do this by driving jealousy and a false sense of competition among potential customers. They make it look like you’re not moving with the train if you don’t have a particular product.
Marketers create exclusivity just for sales. They create false prestige just to promote their products.
Recognize their tactics… and defeat them.
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