I Love You, But Your Asoebi Clothes Are Expensive

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asoebi clothes for a wedding
From Pinterest

Asoebi clothes are essential in Nigerian Weddings.

Brides spend months looking for the perfect asoebi color and style for their special day. Mothers of the bride and groom even join the search for the perfect asoebi uniform for their ‘people’. You know how Nigerians like to show off.

I love hearing that I am part of the bridal train, and always look out for the material to be used. The asoebi is often the first thing I spot at any wedding. The asoebi colors and styles coupled with the hall decoration create the perfect atmosphere for such a momentous occasion.

 But, in recent times, I have seen that Nigerians want to be mad.

In the course of their big day, brides have decided to dig deep holes in our pockets in the name of buying asoebi, selling them for over 50k to 100k.

Now, don’t come at me with the whole If-you-have-money-you-will-buy-it mantra. The girls you are selling this cloth to have lives to run, bills to pay, businesses to sort out, and dreams to achieve.

The price of asoebi cloth for one day is absolutely ridiculous!

To make matters worse, they now have two sets of asoebi- the lace one for the traditional marriage, and the other for the white wedding.

How convenient!

Here are five important reasons why we love you, but will not buy your asoebi:

1. We will not wear it again:

Nigerian Weddings are lowkey competitions. Everyone wants to outdo the other. Everyone wants to glitter and shine on their big day. As a result, most of these asoebi clothes are made with ridiculous materials that look ridiculous after the wedding.

To make matters worse, the asoebi styles are so complicated that we can’t wear it after that day, not even to church.

2. We will never wear it again:

Like, you don’t understand. We will never wear those clothes again. I have been blessed to witness some of my close family members and friends get married, and been part of their train.

As I write this, I have over 14 asoebi clothes lying peacefully in my closet. I can’t dash it to anyone or give it to the less privileged. I can’t transform it to something else because many of the styles are complicated and I just don’t have the time. Then you now want me to buy another asoebi at an outrageous amount, cloth that will still go and join its counterparts?

Mbanu.

3. There are other expenses to consider asides the asoebi cloth:

Attending weddings are expensive these days. Let’s analyze it:

a. Engagement party:

assorted pastries on ceramic trays

Except you got engaged really privately, there are high chances that we were present at the event or party you were engaged at. Time spent.

b. Tailor fittings:

grayscale photo of person using sewing machine

It’s not enough to just buy the material. You still have to pay to sew and make several trips to ensure it’s the right fit and style. Money and time spent.

c. Bridal shower:

Assorted Signage Decors

These have become very trendy and perfect for Instagram, even though there is no need for one. Just a bunch of girls partying with the future bride before her big day. The asoebi girls often plan this with their money to surprise the bride. Money and time spent.

d. Traditional marriage:

Traditional marriage
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/834854849650507723/
From Pinterest

For those of us who can’t do makeup to save our lives, we have to hire a professional to handle our makeup, and it’s not small money. Some brides now insist that our shoe color has to be cockroach brown with a tint of NYSC green, so we have to buy new shoes for ourselves even when we have enough.  We haven’t added the cost of sewing the asoebi clothes, and the transportation fee if the traditional marriage is in the girl’s hometown.

e. White wedding/After-party:

Woman Holding White Flower Bouquet

Same thing applies. Transportation. Hotel accommodation (if you’re coming from another state). Makeup. New shoes, bags, everything.

f. Asoebi clothes for other weddings:

One of the major reasons why we come for weddings is to sell our market. If there is no potential buyer at your wedding, we still have to go to other weddings to sell, and expenses are waiting for us there.

You know all these extra expenses and your asoebi is still costly.

Like, how do you want your thunder? You want it solemn or with a bit of display?

Lightning Strike on City
Blue Body of Water With Orange Thunder

4. You can’t use your friends to make money:

From research, some people who sell expensive asoebi claim that it’s to help them raise small money to offset other wedding expenses, and to keep up with the Joneses. We understand that you are trying to get and save money during your wedding.

But that shouldn’t include defrauding your friends that are hustling like you.

You can make your wedding really great on a budget. There are lots of professionals that can give you quality for less. Help us so we can help you on your big day.

5. Friendship is most important, not the asoebi cloth:

Opting to be part of your train is enough sacrifice already. We love you regardless of whether your wedding was simple or extravagant. So, stop trying to cut losses. Cut your coat according to the money you have. Read about how to improve your spending habits here.

If you still insist on the cost, then I can’t buy it. It’s not by force to be friends.

What are your worst wedding train experiences (for both males and females)? Kindly share them in the comment section below. Do well to share to friends and family

28 COMMENTS

  1. Wow! This is funny but through. In the past, these materials were given out for free but these days eh? Na wa! If you want an exotic wedding, you should bear the cost all by yourself not tasking your friends in the name of asoebi. As for the asoebi styles, matter for another day😂😂😂

  2. Very funny and nice article. Full of truth from beginning to the end. You have 14 asoebis, me I have two boxes full with no one to give. It’ll feel so out of place to wear those clothes to my placeof worship and I can’t wear them to a party. I can’t even wear to another person’s wedding cos that person also has her own asoebi. I have a younger sister but I can’t give her the clothes cos as small as she is, she has her own problem of asoebis as well especially being yoruba so you can just imagine.

  3. This article is beautiful,addresses alot in our world today but can I be sincere; say this outside there or send a lady this article and watch her insult you being the guy who showed her telling you that if you don’t have money to plan an expensive wedding with her,you should look for another woman. Listen, the internet has done greater harm than good in all sectors, a lady sees a multibillion wedding online and uses it as a yardstick as how her future wedding must be and then at 40,she is still single and now going to motherless babies home for prayers. Thanks kinika for the post. Will do well to share the link and hope not to receive insult from an unreasonable lady

    • Thanks for reading, Uche. Most people do not want to hear the truth. They claim its a once-in-a-lifetime event so they should spend all the money they have. Ignorance to some people is really bliss.

  4. Nice piece. Jst last year here I have like 5 aso ebi all in the name of trying to satisfy friends who sometimes don’t consider the cost implications on us.

    • Thanks for reading, Chidinma. What are friends for, right?
      Lol… We can’t avoid them completely. Budgeting is key…

  5. Truth is, some people don’t mind. But we should know our friends. It’s not fair enough to not have a very good friend on your train simply because she couldn’t afford the dress. I’ve seen people joyfully spend so much money on their friend’s asoebi dress but that’s because the bride to be knew the kinda friends she has and the size of their pocket.

    Whereas you know your friends can’t afford it, why do it? I for one wouldn’t do such, no matter what! I don’t even wish to have a bridal train but if I must, I hope it gets subsidized that’s if it can’t be free. I believe God would make it realistic by providing.

  6. Most of this is true……but alot of us wouldn’t have it any other way….I’m an event planner @adoraz_events and I can stand boldly and say aseobi spices up the wedding with beautiful girls in beautiful colours . Honestly the truth is most of the things we do for weddings are not necessary BUT we still do them cuz dats wat we want. There are a whole lot of things we buy in this life out of WANT not NEED ,so why should aseobi be d Scape goat. I feel we go overboard with weddings nowadays cuz we want it to be unforgettable and that fine if u have the cash. omoh if u have the money spend it how u like after all no one is forced to buy aseobi material. If u no get cash ,politely decline that it’s too expensive then come to the wedding looking bam! On ur own budget simple ,don’t forget to get d couple a gift too 😌

    • Thanks for reading, Peace. I understand your point. But the argument is that it shouldn’t be extremely expensive. It’s just for a day, and we wouldn’t really wear it again.

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