Paternity fraud has become a leading and silent menace in our society. Nigeria, which is often on the frontline for many negative things, is one of the leading countries with paternity fraud cases. For those who don’t understand paternity fraud, it’s a situation where a man is incorrectly recognized as the biological father of a child.
In simple terms, the man is unaware that the child is not his. In most cases, he is forced based on the assumption of marriage to take care of the child.
What is my view on paternity fraud? Should DNA tests be made compulsory? Are there evidence or logical reasons that support such acts? With every paternity fraud case that springs up to the social media limelight, there are a thousand and one silent cases that are buried under stigmatization, shame, and family disclosure.
Before we decide whether DNA tests are important or not, there are several things we should look at.
First, here are some typical paternity fraud scenarios:
An elderly man dislikes his son’s fiancee from the beginning based on tribal and religious reasons. Against all odds, these two lovebirds get married. He gets upset and tries to seek ways to disgrace the girl and prove himself right.
Thirteen months later, she gives birth to a beautiful child. The man decides to do a DNA test on his supposed grandchild with his DNA as a sample, to see if he could use that as leverage. Unfortunately, it turns out negative.
He is elated. Finally, a chance to trap this intruder!
He presents the case to the family and accuses the girl of infidelity. The girl, amid immense sadness and tears, decides to do a DNA test with her husband’s sample. Lo and behold, it matches.
To cut things short, the girl’s husband isn’t the man’s son.
Two lovebirds get married. The man is a successful businessman that frequently goes on trips. Meanwhile, the boy’s mother isn’t having any of it. She is part of a generation that believes that only male children can carry the family name. So, she wants grandchildren speedily.
She pressurizes the woman, sinks ideas into the boy’s head to go against his marital vows, and suggests “churches” the girl could go to for solutions.
The girl is fed up. To save her face and eliminate shame, she travels and returns “miraculously” pregnant.
These are two common scenarios. What of the cases that happen with bosses and/or employees? Are we considering common ones done with exes? Should we talk about women sleeping with their husband’s younger brother, and there won’t be an iota of doubt because the child will resemble the man?
A lot of things go on due to society’s pressure to catch up with a false sense of lost time. Paternity fraud is quite painful because the man’s investments go into training children that are not his, without his consent.
It won’t be paternity fraud if there is a COMMON AGREEMENT to birth a child outside the home due to medical reasons. This often turns out to be unhealthy because the man’s ego is damaged.
What causes paternity fraud?
In my opinion, all reasons for paternity fraud boils down to two things- pressure and loneliness.
Marriage sucks up a woman very much. She forgets herself and dreams for the next 15 to 18 years. If anything goes wrong in her home, all eyes turn to her ready to throw stones. She then succumbs to pressure to save her face in the eyes of family and friends.
Women are vulnerable and emotional beings. When the man isn’t supporting their emotional needs, they tend to seek solace elsewhere, especially in previous relationships.
Anything aside from these major reasons is pure wickedness.
Where is the drawline for paternity fraud?
There are two prevailing thoughts on this matter. One party (the male party) justifies carrying out DNA tests on their children to avoid paternity fraud. The other party (the female party) stands against it by saying that it’s a breach of trust and respect.
A lot of them claim that most married men cheat and they accept it to preserve their homes. So, why should he demand accountability all of a sudden?
Both standpoints are very valid.
But the truth is, marriage is built on forgiveness. If you’re not guilty of anything, why are you paranoid?
We fail to understand that the man is the head of his home, and it’s his fundamental right as the head to demand for accountability. Yes, it will hurt badly, but if he requests for a DNA test and you feel mistrusted, allow him to do it. Then, settle your differences later.
For women who say that because the man cheats and they accept it for peace to reign, they have no right to question the paternity of their children, listen. You can’t repay infidelity for infidelity. There is no moral justification for cheating no matter how you look at it, especially if the man didn’t agree to it.
When the deed is committed, what can be done?
I wash my hands and rest my case.
Let me know your thoughts below. Don’t forget to invite your friends to join in on the conversation…