Side chicks are not the problem- quote me anywhere!
Awon feminist geng, calm down! Let me explain…
Relationships have been scattered because of this, especially marriages. We hear all sorts of stories where married women publicly embarrass themselves all in the name of embarrassing their husband’s side chick.
We hear men classifying girls as main chick and side chick. What is main? What is side?
We see girls embarrassing their fellow girls who they claim are their boyfriend’s side chick, a guy they are not even sure they will marry.
Some of these girls that do these things claim that they have invested so much into the relationship, so they can’t allow another girl reap the fruit of their labor.
Who sent you work?
Married women also claim that they have invested so much in the man and their marriage, so they won’t allow these girls eat the fruit of their labor.
The question is, how valuable are you without the man? How valuable are you without the relationship?
We were born into this world alone. Even if you are a twin, one came before the other. Nobody shared the same space. In the same vein, we all have our individual journeys. Life is too short to worry about what another grown up man is doing with his.
What do you do when you find out that he has side chicks?
Here are some ways to deal with side chicks, and still retain your sanity and dignity:
1. Do not panic:
Just because you have heard another woman calling your man baby or honey, your BP shoots up, you start sweating, pacing up and down your house like someone that doesn’t have work. The best thing to do is to be calm.
Once you are, you can think of the next line of action
2. Don’t spy on his side chicks:
Women are so guilty of this. They start acting as monitoring spirits, CCTV cameras, and vigilantes. The side chick is not your problem. She may have started the whole issue, but she isn’t. I really don’t understand how your man would have a side chick, and you start attacking the side chick instead of your man.
It’s so hilarious.
If you’re married, remember that this man is not a child. He made a vow to be faithful but went against it. Why should you hate someone that is simply benefitting from his irresponsible actions? Don’t be a spy!
Stop going crazy on his text messages too! You deserve peace. Stop attacking the side chick as well!
3. Ask yourself questions:
Now, this isn’t to say that we are at fault. 90% of the time, men that cheat have beautiful, sexy wives at home. But you need to ask yourself questions and answer it honestly. This is very important for married women in their 40s and 50s.
Statistics have shown that the age when men cheat is often 40 – 60 years.
They say the test to know whether you’re morally upright is when you have the money to finance wrong doings and you don’t. These men have risen to the pinnacles of their careers. Money isn’t their problem. They have stayed with one woman for 20 to 30 years. In their minds, they are bored. This is not justifying their actions, though.
At this age also, most women have relaxed their dressing skills. After dropping three to four kids, they start looking like they sell Ijebu garri for a living. Ask yourself honest questions-
- How is my dress sense? Do I look good all the time or just because only when my pastor comes around?
- How often do I cook well?
- Am I always raising my voice during arguments, or am I respectful?
- Do I make him feel comfortable?
- Do I listen to him? Am I supportive?
- Do I make efforts to please him sexually?
A critical assessment is necessary. If you are doing all these and more and he still cheats, know that its between him and his God. Don’t kill yourself.
For the single ladies, don’t date a man without finding out his marital status. Read how to here.
4.Tell him you’re aware:
You have to lay your cards on the table. Face the truth with boldness. Face him with boldness. Tell him you’re aware of what he’s doing. Let go of the hurt by pouring out how you feel, without strangling his neck or grabbing his collar. Ask yourself whether you’re ready to look the other way and deal with a cheating partner or let him go.
5. Be busy with your life:
Like I said earlier, what is your value without your man? What is your value without being with someone? Most of us place our value on relationships because we haven’t learned to be with ourselves and be comfortable in our own skin.
Our self-love ends on Instagram. If you really love your peace of mind, you won’t be bothered about whether he cheats or not.
You weren’t created to be bothered about another man’s irresponsible actions.
6. Don’t revenge:
This is the part that trips me off. Some girls go on revenge missions by cheating with the man’s friends or some random guy. Don’t do that to yourself. Focus on building yourself, healing, loving who you are, and being at peace with yourself.
Have you experienced this, or know someone that has? Do well to share the gist in the comment section below. Don’t forget to share to friends and family.
Meanwhile, here’s a thought