Should I call him? Understanding Your Boundaries

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Have you ever been with a guy, spent the entire day together, talking and laughing? You go home and he doesn’t call you? Of course, it could be due to the fact he’s extremely busy. Which for some is not a good enough excuse. He could also not want to see you again. The best way to get out of that is not calling you anymore. You begin asking yourself “should I call him?”” should I text him?”

The thing is, men, think women wouldn’t call. Now if he doesn’t call you, you definitely won’t call him back. An easy but effective way to end a relationship. If you ever think you should call him or text him after a while, chances are you want to see him again. Although some women choose not to call, others enjoy taking charge. So calling is no big deal. You’re just worried about how the situation might present itself.

You don’t want to call him and appear clingy. You don’t want to seem more interested. But you’re also very curious. Needy people tend to be viewed as people with low self-confidence. One of the reasons people tend to be needy or clingy is the fact that they lack attention. They’ve never had someone desire them for themselves. Or ever felt they deserved love. Or it could just be that they are clingy. However, everything we do is as a result of something, believe it or not. Either intentionally or subconsciously.

“Should I call him?” Well to be sure you can, you need to be sure you aren’t being too needy or clingy. Here are a few things you might be doing that shows you don’t understand your boundaries.

You ignore Red Flags

Are you a person who intentionally ignores red flags because you need attention? If you are, then you probably shouldn’t call him. Some of the red flags he might be putting out there could be easy to spot. From canceling your plans last minute, ghosting you (going MIA) for a long time. It could also be lying to you, thinking of just himself, seeming detached. If all these are something he exhibits, then you shouldn’t call him.

As much as toxic men have been romanticized by the media, you don’t need it in your life. Bad behaviors like this are never acceptable. If he mistreats you and tries to make you ignore these red flags with a simple apology, don’t call. We all deserve so much better than people who treat us like rotten cheese.

If you seem to have an amazing time when you guys are together and he ghosts you afterward repeatedly, that’s a sign that you should let him go. If you don’t and keep going back to him, you’re giving him the leverage to continue as he, please. It may be hard at first. Even when you feel like you can’t seem to find love, you need to understand you’re better off alone. Then staying up all night or thinking about him all day, and he’s probably just having the time of his life somewhere else.

You Don’t Give Space to Either of You – “Should I call him?”

You always want to text him or call him. He never does it first. He only wants to meet up when you do. If you constantly call or text him, it can rub off the wrong way. He might fill his eyes when you call comes in even if he sounds so happy you did. This might make him avoid you more and eventually end the relationship.

You need to understand the importance of personal space. Personal space isn’t for just him but for yourself as well. When you don’t call as much, he would want to know why. Let him do the reaching out for once.

It doesn’t matter if you’re in an official relationship. Personal spaces help you grow. They help preserve your sanity. They also make you want to see your partner more and enjoy time together. Isn’t the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder”?

So next time you think “should I call him” or “should I text him”, understand how much of it you do and the responses you get. That way you know how to cut it back a little. Now I’m not saying to cut it off entirely. But a little.

You Give More Than You Get

This has been loosely highlighted above. You’re always calling him even when you go to voicemail. Or texting him even when he doesn’t reply. You do the same thing the next day. And the next. And now you’re the only one in whatever relationship that was. Have some self-respect and stop.

Here’s a little advice. Never call or text somebody more than twice especially if you’re dating them. That’s because you can never be too busy to send an “I’m busy right now, I’ll call you in a bit”. You’re also never too busy to call as you said. If they don’t call back or respond to your text, don’t call again.

If a guy can go for two weeks without talking to you, stop making excuses for him. These excuses lead you to call and text like a clingy or needy person. That isn’t good for your self-worth. If he never calls you back, accept it. No matter how hard it is. And if he calls you after 2 weeks or 2 months. You can either ghost him if you want or just pick up and call it off. It’s obvious someone or something more important to him is taking his time. No need to intrude.

A Quick Takeaway – Should I call him?

If you place your happiness on the calls you make from him even when he’s reluctant, you might want to take a step backward. If you also feel the conversation is forced anytime you call him, then you should also avoid calling. Next time you want to call him or you’re wondering” should I text him?”. Ask yourself these questions;

  • Why doesn’t he ever call me?
  • Why exactly am I calling him?
  • Would I enjoy the conversation?
  • Am I depending too much on him to make me happy?
  • Are there red flags I’ve been ignoring?

When you ask yourself these five simple questions, then you’re in the clear. You would know if you should call him or not. If you’re being too clingy or not. It helps you understand your boundaries and go for better.

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