Aleruchi Kinika
Hello, I'm Aleruchi. A blogger and co-founder of, I focus on helping readers learn the littlest and most important things in various parts of their lives such as lifestyle and relationships. I do it the most creative and understandable ways possible. Also a free-spirit with a passion for reading, writing, learning and photography.
    • Thank you for reading 💛. I’m glad you enjoy my articles and I hope you look forward to more in the future.

  1. I can tell you put effort into making some valid points. Well done.

    However, your first point I do not necessarily agree with. I believe, from personal experiences, and conversations with fellow men (most of whom carry family responsibilities) that the phrase, “Be a man” remains one of the essential pieces needed to raise not just “a man” but a dependable man. I understand that the media today tends to blur the line between being virile and muliebrile, and many young men quickly latch onto this idea as it is much more convenient. But as one whom this phrase has been said to on more than one occasion, I can confidently attest to the fact that although it hurts to hear this at first, it fortifies a man’s belief in his own masculine abilities and qualities. Why is that important? To put it into perspective, in the long-run, such masculine qualities are eventually what most mature women (“mature” in the sense of those ready and willing to start a family) come to desire and look for in a man who may potentially become a husband to her, a father to her children, a provider and a protector.

    The other points I am in agreement with.

    • Thank you for reading 💛. I completely understand where you are coming from. But I also know how the statement “be a man” has made some men unable to share their feelings, keeping it bottled inside and that isn’t usually healthy in the long run. Thanks for your contribution. It’s appreciated.

  2. I love this article..and yes the statement ”be a man has its positive and negative side..often times what we say and how we say them matters..saying this in another way with the aim of creating a balance between awakening the masculinity of a man and trying to console him, I think would be great.

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You asked for it and it’s here. What are those things Nigerian men are tired of hearing? A lot!. That’s right. Being a Nigerian man also comes with its own drama. I interviewed a few guys and they were more than glad to tell me what they can’t stand when it’s thrown at them.

Just like the women, Nigerian men too face their daily challenges and sometimes do not get credit enough for them. They get words thrown at them by men, women, and children but are expected to ”be a man” about it.

Things You Shouldn’t Tell Nigerian Men

“Be a man”

”be a man” is the statement that is supposed to fix any man’s problem. Men complain about something, no matter how big, they are instantly told to be a man. This statement can be quite confusing considering they are already men. So figuratively it translates to ”bottle up your feelings, no one cares because you have a penis”. It also translates further to ”you shouldn’t care that we don’t care because… Well, you have a penis”. Please next time a man talks to you about his problems, instead of throwing that poor insensitive sentence, try listening to them. Give them advice if you can. Let them know ”being a man” isn’t such a bad thing.

”men are scum”

Men are scum has to be one of the most used statements on the internet, the junior brother ”men will embarrass you” is next. So much it just naturally rolls off the tongue or the mind. Nigerian men don’t like this. Men in general. Both the scum and the non-scum. We know some men out there do “Scumish” things. They break hearts, lie, cheat, etc. but any gender can do that. Not only is this statement annoying, but it’s also repetitive. If a man breaks your heart, don’t go “men are scum”, instead use “Kunle is a scum.” Much better.

“men shouldn’t cry”

If men are not supposed to cry, they wouldn’t and shouldn’t be able to produce tears in the first place. Telling men they should not express themselves in ways such as crying, laughing, texting, etc because they are men is just plain mean. If a man is crying next to you, please don’t use this sentence. A lot of us complain men are reserved and hate expressing themselves. Maybe they don’t hate it, they are just scared of the judgment that comes right after. So guys, next time you’re ready to open the flood gates, do so unapologetically.

“All men are rapists/dogs” to all Nigerian men

This is a solid statement right after men are scum. Ejor, please stop that nonsense. I’m very sure there are good guys out there. Those who aren’t rapists. I honestly don’t know any dog-man but I’m curious as well. Stop calling men dogs, they are tired of hearing it. Again if you must, use their names e.g “Emeka is a dog”. The world is scary and I know it gets to you. But not all men are rapists.

“Send me transport before I can come” to Nigerian men every single time

Along with card before you can call. It’s easy to call a man cheap because he doesn’t want to do this always for you. But looking at it from a bigger picture, men have feelings too. If he always has to give you money to come to see him, or airtime to call him, that shows you don’t care. If you were in his shoes, honestly, how would that make you feel?. Even if you don’t have money, try saving a little. So maybe next time you won’t ask for money to enter the road to go and see your own man.


The sad thing about some of the statements men hate hearing comes from themselves. Telling your bro to man up because he wants to cry is just as toxic as a girl telling him the same thing. So let’s continuously considering each other’s feelings when we open our mouths to talk. What other statement do you hate hearing as a man? Let us know below.

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Things Nigerian men are tired of hearing

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