Being Nigerian is a sport on its own. Being a Nigerian female, on the other hand, can be frustrating. Some people are lucky to grow up in households that understand feminism or at least egalitarianism while others don’t. Nigerian women get thrown a lot of annoying remarks from time to time. It could be from their parents, or teachers, or just a random guy on the street. For some reason everyone thinks they have something to say and even worse, they say it.
The average Nigerian woman has gotten at least 2 of these remarks in their lifetime. Most times even before they turn 30.
Stop telling Nigerian women the following;
” You don’t have to study anything serious or make too much money, you’re a woman. Your husband will take care of you”
Now there are so many things wrong with this statement and the obvious is mediocrity. Nigerian women are subconsciously or deliberately encouraged to be mediocre. An instance is during admission time in the country. You don’t get the course of your choice but then people tell you not to cry. You’re a woman so why should you want something so bad? Why not just settle? Your man would take care of you, right? Wrong.
” So, you don’t like cooking? How will your husband eat?”
Cooking is an essential skill everyone should know. Both men and women. I’ve been in conversations where the girls who said “you should always be ready to cook for your man. Even if you’re tired from work”. They are viewed more like wife materials than the ones who said: “if he comes back early and is hungry, he should cook for himself”. Please stop saying this if you wouldn’t be telling your boys this either. Not all Nigerian women enjoy the kitchen and that’s fine.
“Oh, so you’re a feminist”
In an ever so demeaning tone. Most Nigerians do not even understand the concept of feminism. They confuse it for Misandry in most cases. A feminist doesn’t want men to die so they can take over the world. They just want to have equal rights with men. It’s still a hot debate if women actually want equality or equity. The bottom line is, they want to be able to choose.
“What were you wearing when he raped you?”
Please and please (Biko if necessary) do not ask a rape victim this. Little children get raped, so what is their crime? Wearing diapers? Judging a woman who was raped because of what she’s wearing makes you an equal monster. The only reason why rape happens is because of rapists and that’s final.
” So when will you marry?” to Nigerian women
It could be next week, next month, next year or never. It’s really none of your business. From the age of 25, people start acting like you’re a couple of Saturdays away from menopause. It can be very annoying so stop. Understand that not all Nigerian women want to get married, not all want children and it’s their life. Just focus on yours.
” So when will you have children” to Nigerian women
There is always a ”so when will you…”. It’s like people are constantly exercising their tongues to ask you a new question when they see you. When you’re single, they start reminding you how old you’re getting. Once you marry, the problem is to have a child. Once you have a child, the child needs a brother or sister. It’s just unending.
On behalf of every girl child and woman in Nigeria, we are sincerely tired of settling for mediocrity and getting unnecessary anxiety because of society and the questions constantly thrown at us.
What other remark do you hate hearing? Let us know in the comments.