Relationships are usually more exciting when they begin but how do they function when it’s long term?. You had new stories to tell, funny things to say, and the humor is always spot on. Everything is hilarious and in a good way. You can’t get enough of your partner and you never miss the butterflies when they are around. But along the line, things don’t seem to be that way anymore. That’s when love and compatibility comes in. Most people say that’s when the “real relationship begins”.
Relationships are more than taking pictures and uploading them on social media. Wearing matching outfits. Going on dates etc. Don’t get me wrong, they are all wonderful things to do with your partner. Along the line, however, relationships can grow “boring”. This is a reason most relationships fail.
Long term relationships are sure to change you. For better or worse. You face more challenges, you get hurt but then you get better. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions most people don’t talk about. It’s not always glitz and glam. That’s why I’ve gathered a few things no one tells you about long term relationships.
1. You will get bored
I know no one wants to admit it but you’re sure to get bored. You might want something more exciting like how it was when you guys started. or how your life was when you were single. In a situation like this, it’s best to talk to your partner. Let them know how you feel. Incorporate new activities into your life as a couple and as individuals. Partners who are really in love will put in the work to find happiness and fun in themselves.
2. Temptations are Inevitable in long term relationships
You’re sure to see someone who you think is hotter than your partner. More successful. You might even meet people you think understand you better or are more compatible with you. Most times it’s just an illusion. Social media plays a huge role in this. You see various people from all walks of life engage in conversations with them, etc. If you really love your partner however, you can find ways to overcome this. But you must understand that temptations exist.
3. You need to master the art of forgiveness
Now I’m not encouraging you to forgive your partner for cheating. Or doing something completely terrible. However, you need to understand forgiveness in other aspects of your relationship is very important but also difficult. If your partner does something you don’t like, you both should talk about it and find a way to forgive. You need to do this so you can move on. If you don’t, it’ll tug at your mind for too long.
4. Sex would be different in a long term relationship – but that’s not always a bad thing.
Over the months and years of your long term relationship, sex is bound to be different. It could be exciting one minute, and plain boring the next. This is where talking about your intimacy issues come in. You should discuss ways you can improve your sex life for both men and women. It’s ok to want to try new and different things from when you both started.
5. You will fight over little things
Do you know how little things your siblings do get to you sometimes?. Especially when you are around them a lot?. It’ll happen in a relationship. Things you found cute at the beginning might annoy you sometimes. It’s completely normal. You just have to find a way around it.
6. It’s not always going to be about you
In a long term relationship, you start thinking more like “we” and “us” than “I” and “me”. Every decision you make doesn’t just affect only you anymore but could affect your partner. When making decisions, you always have to consider your partner’s feelings. When carrying out certain actions, you must understand how it could affect them. This goes for both parties. If you aren’t sure, you have to sit down and talk about it. Meet each other halfway.
7. Comprehension matters more than just communication
You can talk to your partner all you want but if they don’t understand what you’re saying, you might be wasting your time. You have to understand each other. It’s just the only way it can work.
8. It’s difficult to open up but it’s OK
The most beautiful thing about long term relationships is the fact your partner has seen you in all your various moods. They’ve seen you at your best and at your worst. But they accept you anyway. It might be difficult at first to be completely open but do not be scared. It’s really a beautiful thing.
9. Everyone will have something to say
In the long term relationships, you’ll get advises alright. The ones you care for and the ones you weren’t even asking for. Don’t take the wrong one and leave something beautiful just because your friends say so. Same reason you should stay in an abusive relationship because you think it’ll be hard to find love again.
10. You’ll question everything in long term relationships
There are days where you wonder if you aren’t being played. If you aren’t doing the right thing. Why your relationship isn’t going according to a movie. Even if you truly and completely love your partner, it’s completely normal to have these thoughts. Doubts are natural to humans. You might not be worried about the present but for the future. You might wonder if he’s you’re ”soulmate” or ”the one”. You’re not a terrible person for thinking this in a long term relationship. Just don’t let it feast on your soul.
Making long term relationships last
All of the above can happen in a long term relationship but you will find happiness, companionship, friendship and so much more in it too. Everything and everyone faces challenges and as long as they are sane ones, keep working on your relationship.