Aleruchi Kinika
Hello, I'm Aleruchi. A blogger and co-founder of, I focus on helping readers learn the littlest and most important things in various parts of their lives such as lifestyle and relationships. I do it the most creative and understandable ways possible. Also a free-spirit with a passion for reading, writing, learning and photography.

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Self-respect is important in a relationship if you want to make it work. Not just for your partner but also yourself. The crazy thing is that a lot of people with high and respect can slowly lose it over time. Maybe from fears of upsetting their partners or being alone. Whichever it is, that’s never the option.

Losing self-respect usually starts little by little. Maybe your partner has a problem with something and puts you down in front of another person. This can hurt your pride and begin your journey to loss of self-respect.

If you’re in a relationship where your partner makes you feel stupid by the things you say or do, run. It’s a glimpse of what they think of you. As someone lesser than they are. They may even try to control and manipulate you which is just as bad. And no it doesn’t make them any better if they do it to other people and not you. Sooner or later the tables will turn.

This can make you feel like your partner is better than you and you don’t deserve them. It can also make you feel your friends and family are a lot better than you. Giving you this sense of hopelessness. This can make you go out of your way to please them. Gain their love, affection, and attention. In a nutshell, it’s you overcompensating for your perceived shortcomings.

What Happens When You Lose Your Self Respect?

A lot of things can happen when this occurs. You and up giving more in a relationship than taking. People walk over you and always place your feelings last. Sooner or later, your relationship begins taking a terrible turn. The following things begin to happen:

You Become A Puppet

You suddenly become a puppet in your relationship. A pushover. You feel you have nothing to offer in the relationship than your servitude. Everything they say goes and you don’t try thinking for yourself. That’s giving someone else too much power over you.

Your Opinions Don’t Matter

Your partner doesn’t ask for your opinion in important decision making. They constantly shut you out because you already gave them that much power. They think ”why to bother? She’s/he’s just going to accept whatever I say anyway”.

You Aren’t Taken Seriously

Well, that’s a given now. You can see how much people take you as an object. Your opinions don’t matter and they place your importance as the list. They feel you aren’t good enough because you encouraged them to.

Your Relationship Becomes More of A Chore

When all these things start unfolding because of your lack of self-respect, your relationship becomes more of a chore. You don’t even know if you’re in love anymore or just thankful you have someone by your side. Someone you feel is much better than you.

Your Relationship Eventually Falls Apart

Sooner or later, your partner would feel they deserve someone better for them. For their self-development etc and you’ve mirrored yourself into being a complete opposite of that. Self-respect is important in a relationship to grow and if that’s not the case, everything eventually falls apart.

What Are the Ways to Gain Your Self Respect Again?

The good news is, you can get your self-respect again. You can truly believe in yourself and be a more admirable person. If you feel you aren’t good enough, ask why you feel that way. Change things you can and embrace things you can’t. That’s the recipe for self-improvement people rarely talk about. So here are a few things you need to know about regaining your self-respect.

Understand It Takes Time

The first step is to understand that it never happens overnight. It takes time and intention but as long as you’re willing to do it, it’ll happen. You might lose a few people who enjoy walking all over you but you’re better off without them.

Stand Your Ground

Even when you feel like the new you might make people leave you, put your foot down. When people constantly ask for faces, learn to say no and keep it that way. Don’t constantly put yourself in uncomfortable situations just to make someone else happy. Someone who doesn’t even care enough for your wellbeing and wouldn’t do the same for you.

People Will Oppose Your Changes

Picture someone who gets everything they want whenever they want. Now imagine someday someone says no to them. They are bound to retaliate and try to manipulate the situation. This way they can keep getting what they want. So, understand that people will try to break you and get you back to your old self. You know the one without any self-respect. Don’t let that be you.

Focus on Your Happiness

Give yourself the same respect (even more) like you give other people such as your partner. When making decisions, don’t just think of how it affects them but you as well. Ensure you are happy and understanding of you and your struggles.

Believe in Yourself

Throw your low self-esteem out the window. Stop treating yourself like garbage. Take care of yourself when sick, enjoy the good things in life, don’t be ashamed of who you are. When you don’t respect yourself, you start doubting your abilities. This leads to shortcomings. Stop letting your imagination ruin you. Watch your partner do the same too.

Take Away

What exactly will self-respect give you? It’ll give you a much better life with great people around you. It’ll make people take you a lot more seriously than they do now because they know you don’t put yourself last. Make your partner love and treat you better. It’ll make you feel worthy.

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What’s Self Respect in a Relationship? How to Get It Back

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