Why Don’t I love Myself?: Tips On Improving Your Self Esteem

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Almost everyone has gone through self esteem issues one way or another. Either as a child, a teenager or an adult. It’s one of those unfortunate things of the world that finds a way to plague us. Improving your self esteem is necessary for certain reasons. Poor self esteem can affect you in various ways. it can;

  • hold you back from getting a job
  • embarrass you more than necessary
  • hold you back from finding love
  • stop you from having fun
  • prevent you from exploring your full potential
  • stop you from living
  • hold you back from enjoying sex

What causes low-self esteem?

Some reasons for this include;

  1. Unhealthy competition
  2. Life events which can be emotionally and physically stressful.
  3. Physical, mental, psychological and emotional abuse.
  4. Anxiety and depression
  5. Unsupportive people around you.
  6. Unhealthy comparison
  7. Trauma and abuse
  8. Loneliness
  9. Medical issues
  10. Unrealistic goals

What are the signs of low self esteem?

  1. thinking you are alone in the world
  2. Feeling unwanted and unloved by people you care about.
  3. Low to zero motivation.
  4. Lack of interest in anything or many things
  5. Avoiding new places, things and people.
  6. Never trusting a compliment
  7. Always expecting failure or mediocrity
  8. Negative vibes to both yourself and other people

Do you hate yourself because you have poor self esteem or do you have poor self esteem because you hate yourself?. Whichever the situation is, I can assure you that you can turn that around. Here are a few ways you can improve this and learn to love yourself.

1. Put yourself first

No matter how you try to boost or improve your self esteem, you have to put yourself first. Speak positive words to yourself. Be nice to yourself. If your negative thoughts come to you, fight it. The thing about self esteem is that we are what we tell ourselves before someone else does. If you keep preparing yourself for negative reactions, it’ll come eventually and you will act accordingly. It all happens in your subconscious. So be nice to yourself.

2. Understand nobody is perfect

The problem with humans is that we forget every other person goes through their own hell. We are so fixated on ours that we think everyone else is happy. Everyone else is perfect. But that’s not the case. Understanding that perfection isn’t realistic is a step into the right direction. Instead always strive to be better than you were yesterday. And if you don’t, that’s ok. As long as tomorrow comes, you get another chance.

3. Everybody makes mistakes. It shouldn’t affect your self esteem.

Without mistakes, we cannot grow. You need those mistakes to grow and learn. If you are feeding off your mistakes and letting them defeat you, you are letting mediocrity win. do not let the fear of failure prevent you from improving yourself.

4. Focus on what you can change

Everyone preaches “love yourself” but you can still change certain things. As long as it’s for the right reason. think you’re too fat?, work out. feel you are too thin?, find ways to gain more weight. If there are things you can’t change, learn to accept it. It’s what makes you you. Everyone is unique in their own special way. Don’t exchange that for another person’s uniqueness. It ruins the balance and you might not be happy afterwards.

5. Celebrate the little things

Those little things you see or do, celebrate them. Appreciate them. From making breakfast, to tying your shoe lace perfectly. Understand those are difficult things for some people. From talking, to listening, seeing, walking, running etc. appreciate them all. The little things matter and we fail to realize it till it’s gone.

6. Don’t compare yourself. It can ruin your self esteem.

Comparing yourself is basically self sabotage. Instead of focusing on other people, focus on you. Your goals, your happiness, your achievement. When you keep comparing yourself, you start living in the shadows of other people. And the worst part is that they don’t even think about you as much. They are probably looking for ways to achieve their goals.

7. Don’t settle for mediocrity

If you have a low self esteem because you feel you should be achieving more or doing better, go for it. However remember good things take time. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

8. Talk to someone

Surrounding yourself with positive people can do wonders to you. If you hate yourself or have a poor self esteem because of a traumatic event, talk to a therapist. Talk to other people who truly love and understand you. It’s all for the best in the long run.

A gentle reminder

If you hate yourself, you find it hard to let other people love you. Maybe people don’t love you because you don’t give them the chance. Stop being so hard on yourself and watch yourself thrive.

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