A mistake a lot of people make is that they enter relationships with the wrong idea. The idea that it’s supposed to be emotionally fulfilling. It’s supposed to make you automatically a better person. No doubt relationships can help you with your life. But it can’t fill up a hole from within. That is something you have to do on your own.
So many people get into relationships with a lot of unrealistic expectations. They feel they should thrive, emotionally, spiritually, etc. All because of someone else. But is that really how it works?
Truth is, no matter how healthy a relationship might be or how long you’ve come as a couple, you can’t get everything from your partner. Your partner played a lot of roles in your life. It’ll be completely unfair to put all that pressure on them. Always being there for another person can be emotionally draining. This is why you need to achieve fulfillment yourself.
Here are a few emotionally fulfilling needs you don’t need to project on your partner completely.
1. Your Individual Needs – an emotionally fulfilling need you don’t need to project on a partner.
Here’s the thing, there’s no relationship that can fill you up from within if you can’t do that yourself. A person can try to make you happy all they want. But if you don’t accept to be happy, it just won’t work. Things you need to work on yourself in life self-confidence, self-love, and also self-esteem.
Let me break it down for you. Your partner can always tell you how beautiful or handsome. They’ve done all they can do. It’s left to you to accept these words. This is a reason why some relationships don’t work. You keep looking for someone to fill up the emptiness that revolves around your self needs.
You then get frustrated or detached when they can’t. And this in turn frustrates them as well. These needs are up to you. You need to own up and embark on a self-development journey. Stop expecting other people to fix you. You alone can accept that fix. Your partner’s words of affirmation shouldn’t be all that boosts your confidence. Do that yourself. This makes the relationship more emotionally fulfilling.
2. Your Fantasies and Unrealistic Expectations
Every individual has their fantasies and there’s no judgment there. As a kid or a young adult, you’ve always imagined your life turning out a certain way. However, it’s not always so. When this doesn’t happen in your relationship, you become sad. It’s not emotionally fulfilling enough anymore.
The thing about fantasies is that you do not imagine barriers. You don’t foresee the real world. You just think of yourself and think for others. But sooner or later you begin to see things unfold differently. This could make you have unrealistic expectations.
For a relationship to thrive, it needs love, care, support, and effort. All these things build you up and keep the relationship going. However, they may not exactly be the unrealistic fantasies you’ve been having in your head. As long as you’re getting all these from a partner, you should put in work as well. Maybe you wouldn’t get your fantasies but it wouldn’t be far from it. You’ll just be dealt with a more realistic outcome.
3. Your Sense of Healing – an emotionally fulfilling need you don’t need to project on a partner.
You know how past relationships break you and you think you’d never bounce back?. Suddenly you’ve decided to give love another try. However, things your partner does aren’t enough to satisfy you. You keep expecting them to automatically heal you from your hurt.
Your past baggage depends on you. You have to make a conscious effort to throw it in the trash. You can’t expect your partner to do that for you. The same thing applies to find motivation. Seeking acceptance. Looking for a sense of belonging or even trying to be a complete version of yourself. You have to make efforts to do so on your own. That way when your partner helps out, it’ll be the icing on a cake.
So, What Next?
If you are looking to be emotionally fulfilled, you won’t find it at the hands of someone else. You have to understand this little detail. People around you can help you all they want. But if you don’t accept to be helped and work on yourself, it’ll fall flat. Always remember that next time your partner seems like they aren’t doing enough.
There are relationships that could be emotionally frustrating. If that’s the case then you can talk about it with your partner. Come to an agreement. Without one then you can leave no matter how hard it is. Let me know what you think shouldn’t be expected a hundred percent in a relationship?